Why can't a Resume be a Signature or a photograph of self or one paragraph or half a page?

Why can't a Resume be a Signature or a photograph of self or one paragraph or half a page?

Answers:
1. Numerologists said, "Even get a date of birth".
2. Palm Reader said, "Even get a hand print."
3. Negative Approach HR expert, "There is no competency and knowledge and skills in the market, no one is job worthy, whether it's a CV of 100 pages or 1 page, no use. Just hire well established executives."
4. Job seeker said, "Please get it done in one paragraph."
5. Handwriting expert said, "One signature is enough."
6. Recruiter said, "First few minutes of meeting are enough."
7. Over skilled and expert job seeker said, "Why not make it one liner?"
8. Face Readers said, "Get a photograph, within seconds I'll tell you, to hire or not."
9. Recruiter whose hands were burnt in earlier experience, "Give me references, and 3 recommendations too."
10. Smart Recruiter, "Please let me know his/her social presence and feed back about their public image."
11. Go getter job seeker, "Sir, give us a task in place of interview, we'll get the job done and then you recruit us."
12. Fed up HR executive said, "Please out source recruitment, rest we'll manage."
13. Positive minded Entrepreneur seeking for same wavelength guys: " There is unlimited potential in the market, let me get my own VIBGYOR kind of like minded people."
14. Fed up un-employed but fire brand youth, "Why recruitment is so complicated?"
15...
Coming more.
Dr. Ashish Manohar Urkude, India